Monday, July 03, 2006

Life with your first child...and beyond

I found this in a magazine and it made me laugh.


1st child: play classical music to soothe baby
2nd child: play classical music to soothe yourself
3rd child: buy an electric guitar, teach yourself chords from Pearl Jam songs, and drown out sounds of siblings bickering


1st child: sleep when the baby sleeps
2nd child: sleep when the baby sleeps and while the toddler watches a video
3rd child: sleep while nursing in the minivan at soccer practice as toddler watches videos on the portable DVD player


1st child: accept all offers of help from family
2nd child: accept all offers of help from family, friends, neighbors, and acquaintances
3rd child: offer your spare change jar to anyone on your block who'll take your children so you can go to the bathroom by yourself


1st child: establish regular naptime routine, with child in crib
2nd child: let kids nap in their car seats while you're running errands
3rd child: Move kids to couch or bed only when you notice they've collapsed in exhaustion on the floor


1st child: immediately wash and sterilize every single binky, blankie, or stuffed animal that hits the floor
2nd child: scrape away obvious dirt and give the item a quick tap water rinse (or a lick) before presenting it to the child
3rd child: dirt? what dirt?


1st child: to create a cozy space, outfit nursery in whimsical, everything-matches theme like classic Pooh or Beatrix Potter
2nd child: Scour resale shops for anything that looks clean
3rd child: nursery, ha! the crib is going into a corner of your older daughter's room, right under the Justin Timberlake posters


1st child: potty train by 24 months
2nd child: barely potty train by preschool deadline
3rd child: notice that no one has touched the last three packages of pull-ups and realize that she must have potty trained herself

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